Lost Random Chatter

i sit here... shivers racking my body.. i try to hug the laptop closer - but it seems to be failing me- just this once..

stubbornly, i hit the little green button on the left of my cell phone..... a series of rings- stop at 11 and a half...
again and again and again and again.. many times.
no voice at the other end......

i feel betrayed...

like the time they had promised to sit at the back of the class, just for me to know that I had not been abandoned amongst strangers. They left- and when i turned back with a smile to say that I was happy, there was nobody there...

I understood then, that I had lost something. And with all the spite and outrage i could muster- i said that they needn't accompany me anymore.... and i didn't let them..

Back at the same place....

Just that I have tried to lose my fierce need for independence on the way..
And I stubbornly believe..

A lullaby awaits - the magic eleven point five..

Curl around and drift on dreams of earthquakes, and wake up with the guilt of not having raised the alarm, and the memory of a winding road that takes me to a gouged hill, drowning in muddy water..